Posted By: Susan Rooke
Posted on: May 11, 2016 6:04 PM
The short answer is yes, apparently. (And I ask you—who keeps tabs on these things?) But what I really wanted to know is if there are INSECTS on that continent. Turns out the answer to that question is also yes. Originally I’d been thinking about the inevitabilities of death and taxes, and wondering why I never hear insects added to that list. You can’t argue with the death part, but I feel certain that somewhere in the world there exists a happy place free of the tax burden. I figured insects had to be more universal, hence my quest for knowledge, and the resulting misunderstanding with my “smart” phone. (If it’s so smart, why does it willfully mishear me? My Texas accent, you say? Nonsense!)
Other recent creative interpretations of my dictation include “black angus just tatian period” (then my phone had the nerve to ask me, “Did you mean: black angus just station period.” No, I did not, and what are you implying?), “wounded bevo die” (the poor animal had a blood disease, not a wound. I still don’t know when he died) and “naughty alder cabinets” (popular in Antarctica, for reasons now clearer to me).
Often I’m completely sidetracked when my phone goes off the rails like that. How could I not be interested in the sex lives of Antarcticans? It’s like the old children’s party game of Chinese Whispers, also known as (you guessed it) Telephone. You just never know what interesting things will turn up through a miscommunication. But by this time I was genuinely curious about the worldwide inevitability of taxes, so, experience notwithstanding, I decided to ask my phone. Here’s what it claims I said:
The answer? Probably not; we get around. Even to Antarctica.
Next time, a cocktail recipe perfect for warm weather!