Posted By: Susan Rooke
Posted on: July 21, 2016 5:54 PM
Books have been my primary entertainment since I learned to read. Typically fiction, but curiosity about other subjects overtakes me from time to time. What exactly is Marburg virus, and how does it relate to Ebola? How do professional kitchens operate? Is Anthony Bourdain just naturally that snarky and hilarious, or does he work at it? When these interests consume me, I’ll read mostly nonfiction, but I always return to fiction eventually. Now, however, something terrible has happened to my relationship with books. I had an awful reading experience early this year, and I’m trying to shake it.
When we moved out to the country I got a card to the nearest small town library, an airy, modern facility. For several months I selected books at random from the general fiction shelves and devoured them with satisfaction. (I highly recommend the dark and rather horrifying Dan Simmons novel Drood. Simmons writes in the persona of 19th century author Wilkie Collins, who relates his peculiarly subservient and envious relationship with his friend, the more famous Charles Dickens. Wonderful period details. Really mesmerizing!) Then this past January I decided to be more methodical in my choices, probably in a misguided attempt at a New Year’s resolution. Starting with the fiction, I would read the 96 books on Stephen King’s Reading List for Writers. Or as many of them as I could find in the library.
I didn’t get far. Near the top of the list King recommends an author unfamiliar to me. The library had several books by that author, so I checked out 2 of them and brought them home. And to my lasting regret, I read them.
There’s no doubt they were well-written. The characters, however—even the protagonists—were unpleasant, emotionally bleak and soulless, without redeeming features. Nevertheless, thinking the writer must be on King’s list for good reason, I kept reading. When I put the books down, I knew I’d made a terrible mistake. Spending time with those vile people had upset me, and left me feeling hopeless, empty and dead inside. I can’t imagine how their creator could tolerate living with them long enough to write the books. I despised them so much that I’ve stopped reading fiction, for now at least, because I can’t face another experience like that.
Yes, it’s unreasonable, but I still feel angry and betrayed. Books, my lifelong beloved friends, have whipped around and bitten me.
It’s been seven months, and I still haven’t been back to that public library. Of course I know it’s not the library’s fault. That writer is fairly well-regarded and popular, and nobody forced me to take those books off the shelf. But they left me with such a bad taste in my mouth that I’ve had to do a fiction cleanse. To start, I’ve been reading nonfiction from my personal collection. Like this truly wondrous Sy Montgomery book about octopuses:
I realize this aversion can’t go on much longer. For heaven’s sake, I write novels myself. I have to read the works of other writers to stay in the game. So when I finish The Soul of an Octopus, I’ll go to the children’s/young adult section of the library and I’ll reread some of the books that gave me so much pleasure in childhood. Especially C.S. Lewis. I miss Narnia. Only then will I go back to the general fiction section. I’ll forget about suggested reading lists and resume choosing at random. I’ll probably stay away from Cormac McCarthy, though. Something tells me I wouldn’t like his characters either.
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Tagged With: Anthony Bourdain, C.S. Lewis, Dan Simmons, reading, Sy Montgomery
Yikes! I can’t imagine novels so depressing they turn me away from reading fiction altogether. I think my response would be the opposite– to immediately dive into a new book, something I knew would be light-hearted and comforting. Hope you’re back to the library soon.
They were SO awful! I’m thinking about starting back with Harry Potter instead of C.S. Lewis. Those sound like just the ticket.
I’ve recently been reading a lot of Scifi and Fantasy since a friend hooked me up with bookbub — (Scifi is often cheap and I can kindle them for a couple of $$). I’d gotten careless about seriously checking out what I was getting so I inadvertently bought a very long (974 pages in paper) one that looked like a combination of a mystery and scifi. Yipes!! Did I screw up!!
It should have been about 300 pages I I should have stopped after about 1/4 of it but for some reason I just couldn’t. Started reading about 3 words per kindle page hoping I could find out who the killer was and who was killed. Went almost to the end. I wasted so much of my precious reading time. Kind of soured me on scifi fantasy /which I love/ so did the same thing as you, Susan. Now I’m reading about meditation and mindfulness and Buddha. At least my newest subject is very useful.
I’m sorry to hear about your experience, but I’m glad you’ve found something good and useful to read now.